Introduction to a revision

The piece I chose to revise is the last blog assignment we did, the original assignment was to write about how food plays a role in traditions in the family. The strengths of the piece are that it flows well and speaks of a tradition that is a little different then what most people would be expecting. The weaknesses are that its to short and doesn’t go into enough detail. For example in the original piece “Samhain is a time to remember the people who have gone before, it is also the last of the harvest ceremonies, food plays a big part in the ceremony.” That could easily be changed and strengthened into “. Samhain is also the pagan new year, and the last of the harvest holidays. It is also the day when the world of the living and that of the dead is closest and a time when you can reconnect with lost loved ones. All of this leads to many different pagan traditions surrounding food; mead and wine are also used a lot for any family or pagan tradition for this day.”